"Do anything good at the weekend, Dianne?", "Yeah, watched a show. Ate a pizza six times the size of my head."
I mean, it seemed wrong not to share with all and sundry JUST how big the pizzas get over at Nell's in Manchester. Not that I suppose they need any extra publicity given the absolutely heaving restaurant that I encountered on my weekend visit to Nell's at its Kampus outpost in the city centre.
Yes, we all know gluttony is not big and it's not clever. But there's something about an extra, extra large pizza that puts a smile on your face, and a warm glow in your belly.
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I know I did not need a full 22" pizza. I know this because I think a lot of people who go to Nell's go for the "buy a slice of a 22" pizza" rather than the whole damn thing.
But in my defence I did have a friend with me for the occasion, with just as hearty an appetite as my own.
If you're thinking "where have I seen this giant pizza before" then you may recall it was all over social media earlier this year thanks to a certain Mr Lewis Capaldi. When his new album shot straight to the top of the charts earlier this year, and he happened to be in Manchester at the time, there was only one place he wanted to go to celebrate.
And that was to Nell's. For a giant pizza the size of six heads.
I mean if you can't go wild on the carbs when you've just got a Number One album then when can you?
His commitment to pizza posing was impressive. He even didn't mind showing the sauce dribbling down his chin as he showed off a mammoth slice in his 22"-er.
Now Lewis went for the "Roni Honey" pizza on his visit- a devilish combo of pepperoni slathered in honey. A combo I wasn't prepared to replicate because I just can't stand pepperoni.
However, I'm a sucker for a Hawaiian, so ham and pineapple it was to be for the "Big Za" we ordered, weighing in at £30.
If you wondered what sort of demand there is for pizza on this sort of epic scale right now, then let me tell you: it's massive. And Manchester sure does have an appetite for pizza restaurants - in all their differing shapes and sizes.
On our early evening visit to Nell's, the place is rammed. A friendly lady at the door advises us that there are no seats left inside but we're welcome to grab one outside on the palazzo. Which is also rammed.
It's actually brilliant to see this new foodie district for Manchester, with a host of independent food traders, SO busy with punters. It's a lovely spot too - with the outdoor seating right next to the waterside, looking out across to Canal Street's buzzing bars.
While we wait for our pizza we invest in frozen cocktails at £8.50 each. I enjoy a zingy margarita which turns out to be the perfect accompaniment for what's ahead - and also gives us time to spy the last remaining indoor seats which we duly nab.
When the pizza arrives, surprisingly swiftly given the amount of people in here, it's an extraordinary thing to behold.
I mean does size really matter? I guess the big selling point for this kind of pizza is exactly its size.
It's ridiculously large, but naturally, that makes it quite fun doesn't it. The reality is for me, being so giant didn't necessarily make it better, it just made for a better picture on my social media feed - let's be honest.
However, don't get me wrong it was an excellent specimen- and my friend rated it one of the "best he'd had". It's a New York style pizza so that means it's a thin, stretched crispy base, rather than the sloppy Italian style ones that are personally my favourite (the best I've had in Manchester, if you care to know was at L'Antica Pizzeria Da Michele on King Street).
The Nell's "big za" had a near perfect slathering of topping though and I particularly liked the zing of Lancashire cheese, together with the roasted pineapple making it not-exactly-your-average Hawaiian. Most impressively of all though, is that between two of us we did actually manage to eat the lot of it, so I think that probably gives you an idea of how tasty it was.
Well, almost all. The final slice was just a push too far I'm afraid for me.
I really, really wanted to be able to share with you what the ice cream sandwiches are like here - they sound amazing for £4, with the likes of chocolate chip cookies wodged together with ice cream.
But if you can take on one of those pizzas and then eat an ice cream sandwich afterwards then you're a more impressive human than me.
Nell's, 22 Minshull St, Kampus M1 3EF is open daily 12pm - 12am, and until 12.30am on Fridays and Saturdays.
